Do you wish you could get results faster?
As a recovering perfectionist and over-achiever, I would often hope that I could get results in my life more quickly. I became impatient when it took longer than expected to achieve certain goals.  Sound familiar?

Then, I heard that "time" is a construct humans created to digest, process, and organize what happens in life. When I heard this theory, it helped me to look at time a bit differently.

What if you could change how you feel about time?
I began to explore a new perspective for relating to time. In fact, I love the quote "Time is a trainer." When I hear this phrase, it reminds me that I don't have to rush through my life and that I don't have to have all the answers today. These days, I don't feel as pressured by time frames.

Results might take longer than you'd like, but what if you can get a better outcome by being patient and therefore allowing more opportunities for a solution to arise.  Don't be so attached to how a situation should unfold.  If something happens to delay you on your path, think of rejection (of what you desire in the moment) as a redirection needed. Maybe the rejection will lead to a new clue or solution on your path.

Why this approach works...
This new perspective can be so liberating. Just keep telling yourself "time is a trainer." Your brain will feel more at ease. With that sense of calmness, you'll have access to more solutions - and it just feels SO much better!  (There is scientific proof to confirm that this happens:-) Ultimately, when you're calm, you can be in the present moment, let go of all the "shoulds," and free up your mind to be more open to new and different answers.  Our BEST ideas come to us when we're happy and feeling good.  Our brain performs optimally when we're in a happier state.

Try it out? Let me know what you notice. No rush getting back to me:-)

This post is a step within our "Be Happy and Get Results" results. 

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It’s not uncommon for people to have one area of their lives in order but need help with another - - for example, they may be successful at work but could use some help with their personal lives. This could be due to many reasons. In my personal experience and in my 10+ years of coaching, I've noticed that it can be because we only let certain aspects of ourselves come forth in different life situations. But, it’s important to remember that we are multifaceted: We are strong and soft, kind and kick ass. These various aspects can be represented by masculine and feminine energy within ourselves. Often, to get the most out of life, we need to learn to integrate our masculine & feminine energy. After all, it takes strength to show vulnerability.

Integrating Masculine and Feminine Energy
As a reminder, we're not talking about gender when it comes to masculine and feminine energy.  Again, both masculine and feminine energies exist within each of us and are important to embrace. Because of past conditioning from society or our original families, we may need help in learning how to balance or integrate these energies in our lives. We may even skew heavier in one area than another. For example, if you’ve ever been called type A or controlling, you might be demonstrating too much masculine energy. Balancing your dual energies will help you feel whole, centered, and more at peace which allows you to be in a better place to experience relationships you desire and results you'd like to achieve with more joy.

What is the Difference between Masculine and Feminine Energies?
We're talking about energies that are within us and show up when we're interacting with others. More specifically, below are some masculine energies listed on the left and feminine energies are on the right:

• Strong & Soft
• Intentional & Creative
• Giving & Receiving
• Grounded & Playful
• Speaking & Listening
• Linear & Circuitous
• Self-disciplined & Sensitive and intuitive

Obviously, they complement each other and provide balance - again, when these energies are integrated.

How Do They Manifest in an Unbalanced Way?
Let me share more of my background to demonstrate how this can happen. Growing up in America with Sicilian immigrants as parents, I learned both aspects.  One way these energies showed up in my life was witnessing my family's entrepreneurial traits while they also worked very hard. The entrepreneurial traits actually relate to feminine energy (i.e., creativity) while the working hard relate to masculine energy (i.e., doing energy or being intentional). Additionally, my Father was an entrepreneur yet held much of the masculine energy in my parents' relationship as he was the provider while my Mom emanated more of the feminine energy by being softer and more present at home.

Interestingly, I picked up both of these energies and channeled them into being more masculine, independent, and strong out in the world and work force but more feminine when at home or in personal relationships. I realized I compartmentalized myself too much. There is no blaming or shaming here, but I noticed that being too much one way at work wasn't serving me well.  This masculine energy even began seeping in to my personal relationships a bit too much.  With this awareness, I began to let more feminine qualities show up at work and in my personal life.  And, that is when my life started to change. The softer qualities actually made me happier and more successful at work and in my relationships! I began to lead more with my feminine energy and use my masculine energy to support my efforts.

How to Be More Balanced and Powerful?
There are so many benefits from integrating these qualities with the most outstanding being I was more balanced WHILE feeling more powerful. I slowly learned to optimize these energies by going through a process I created. Try it for yourself. The steps are below:

1. Notice how you show up in different situations - in meetings, on a date, with friends, and other areas of your life.
2. Journal on what each energy looks like to you in your various life areas (e.g., work, romance, friends, etc).
3. Write about what it would look like to have your masculine and feminine energies coming together.
4. Provide examples of what this combination would look like in a specific area of your life.

Most of my high-achieving clients tend to skew masculine which impacts their lives in various ways - finding it difficult to relax and enjoy life. So if you find yourself skewing too much in one direction (or with masculine energy), you could take the following specific actions to balance yourself:

• Be open to receiving compliments
• Take on creative projects at home or at work
• Embrace playfulness when sharing next steps on an assignment
• Visualize these energies integrating within you (I have a meditation if you'd like. Let me know?)

You Can Do It
This integration takes effort and practice. And, we have our own unique way of being able to integrate these qualities. Give yourself some time and space to try these qualities on so that you can see what feels good and allow them to eventually become natural or second nature. Let me know how it goes and what you learn about yourself?

If you want help creating a life you’ll love, professionally and personally, let’s start coaching with a complimentary session. Sign up now: http://www.innerbrilliancecoaching.com/connect
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Or, if you'd like to learn more about integrating your masculine and feminine energy, I'll be hosting a workshop in October to talk about balancing your energies for a healthier and happier life. Send me a note about your interest, and I'll send you the information.

Trust Your Gut
How many times have you heard that phrase? Or, "what does your intuition tell you?" Every time I used to hear those phrases, I'd think if I knew that, I wouldn't be talking with you about this topic:-)  So, I committed to better understanding what my gut was telling me (beyond the usual and clear message "I'm hungry!")

I was fortunate to have resources available to me to learn more about how to tap in to my intuition ranging from how my Mom and Dad lived their lives, to course work in my coaching classes, to wonderful books about the topic.  In fact, one of my favorite books is Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live by Martha Beck. After reading her book, my biggest take away was that we need to practice tapping into our intuition to be skillful at it.

How to Practice It
So, today I share 3 simple ways to tap in to your intuition.  Please remember that there is no "right" or "perfect" answer when tuning in to your gut, but only YOUR answer.  And, it's important to get clear when you practice trusting your gut. Below are 3 simple steps to get clear and move forward with confidence.

Notice a Synchronicity

• A synchronicity is an event that is usually described as a "meaningful coincidence" even though you might not immediately see a strong cause and effect relationship.

• Sometimes a synchronicity serves to emphasize something in your life you're meant to notice. Don't get caught up in an actual meaning. Maybe the synchronicity is meant to help you notice a pattern in your life.

• The more consciously aware you become of these occurrences, the faster you can gain information that leads to your next clue.

Follow the Clue

• If the occurrence or pattern sparks a good feeling, follow it to the next insight.  You might not even know what this clue means, and that is ok.

• You're next insight might be to just gather more information.

Take a Baby Step

• You can’t know the whole answer right away, so take one step toward your vision or what you're trying to determine.

• If an obstacle arises, learn from it. That obstacle or rejection can lead to a better answer.

• It reminds me of the quote "Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better." (Steve Maraboli in Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience.)

​So, be aware and open.  Follow each insight as it arises.  And remember, it’s a series of baby steps that gets you to your answer.  You can only know what is true (or your answer) in the present moment.  You can't have it all figured out in one fell swoop.  Good luck and let me know how your practice goes?  If you want help with learning to trust your gut, call or text me at (312) 286-0971. I have sure-fire ways to harness the intelligence of your intuition.​

Or, if you want to learn more about getting results in life, work, or love, reach out to [email protected] and learn more here.