World Pasta Day
So, I recently heard that there is a day in October celebrating pasta and it's -- no surprise -- called "World Pasta Day!" It got me to thinking about the power of pasta in my life. (I'm Sicilian-American, so pasta played a larger than normal role in my life.)
Picture this...linguine every single day for 18 years. Not rotini, not mostacciolo, and not my favorite - gnelletti. I know it sounds crazy. But, that was my life growing up. My father preferred linguine. (It was 37 years before he even told me why!) But, I digress.
More importantly, we had dinner together daily. I rarely remember a day/night we didn't sit down together as a family around the dinner table. (As Italians, we sometimes had our bigger meal at what Americans consider lunch time.) In any case, at least once a day, we ate together.
And My Community
Now, that I look back at those times we sat around the table, I realize I was gaining so much more than a few extra pounds:-) I enjoyed connection, community, stability, even structure, and a lot of laughs. This daily activity fortified me when I went out in to the world because I had a strong base at home.
I even remember my 6th grade history teacher writing this comment on one of my papers -- "you have a strong sense of identity." I didn't really understand what that meant at the time. But, as the years passed, I realized how important my roots were to me. How they helped to increase my confidence and actually put myself out in to the world in a more powerful way. By roots, I mean more than heritage or nationality. I'm talking about the traditions, routines, and foundations experienced as a child or the ones created yourself as an adult.
For Your Community
Below are 4 simple steps to either creating or fortifying your community.
It might take some time to create a sense of connection and belonging. But, the effort is worth it.
What can you start today to increase your sense of community or structure? And, what can it do for your sense of confidence and inner strength? Let's discover these actions together with a complimentary coaching session. Sign up here.
Top Tips from Leading Coaches in Forbes Coaching Council
I'm in Sicily today getting a little work done before I join my extended family - - who live here - - for an afternoon at the beach and then a gelato at a seaside cafe.
I feel such gratitude for creating a life and career I love - one where I can be of service, honor my needs, AND feel balanced overall. If you want to learn more about how you can also feel fulfilled and joyful in work and your life, check out the info below.
In 2017, I was invited to join Forbes Coaching Council to provide career guidance and advice. I'm excited to be able to share my experience as a career coach for over 11 years as well as 18 years of experience in Corporate America.
Below are articles where I provide my favorite tips on a variety of topics related to career and life overall - - including productivity, managing stress, achieving goals, transitioning careers, leadership/management, entrepreneurship, and branding. Many of the articles also include great tips from the talented coaches in the council.
Do you have trouble setting boundaries?
As a recovering “people pleaser,” I get it! In fact, I recently agreed to become my boyfriend’s temporary, lunchtime dog walker while he looked for a new one, even though I was recovering from an injury. I had to check in with myself to determine if I really wanted -- and was able -- to fit in walking the dog during my busy workday. The truth was that I did…most times. And, that is what I told him.
The old me would have just done it to make things easier for someone I love. After thinking it over, I finally found that point of what I was really willing to do and WHY. I love Boots and my boyfriend and ME: I did it for all of us! I’m happy to see Boots get exercise, I’m grateful I can support my boyfriend in this way, AND I loved connecting with nature + getting a little exercise myself in the middle of my day.
When I became clear about what I was genuinely willing to do in a way that didn't compromise my needs and WHY I was willing to do it, I was better able to express my truth in a more confident, unapologetic way. No guilt here! It felt refreshing and exciting to share what I would do and for it to be met with understanding and appreciation.
Do you struggle with saying “no” to things that don’t best serve you? I can help! Start today with a complimentary coaching session: sign up here.
What if I were to tell you that you have the power to change your own life, dramatically?
The principal of manifestation focuses your mind -- and thereby your energy and actions -- on attaining the things you desire. The best part is you might attain your desires more quickly and with less effort. It may seem too good to be true; however, I personally use this tool...and it truly works!
Here's an example from my life...
As you may know, I have hearing loss and struggled with the best way to deal with it. Until recently, I rarely shared that I had experienced this loss for fear of being judged or seen in a light that I didn't think would serve me well. But, a few years ago, I shifted my thinking and decided to get help by researching hearing aid options. I finally found a pair that worked for me!
So, one of my goals in life is to increase awareness about how hearing loss can impact people and how they can thrive with it. With this intention, I was able to land an opportunity to film a testimonial that is now shown all over the world about the ReSound hearing aids I use. I couldn’t have asked for a better vehicle to share my cause! And, this opportunity came to me:-)
Here's how to do it...
The key is to become very aligned with your deepest truths and desires. With that clarity, you'll feel more convicted and energized to go for what you desire. You also need to dissolve any limiting beliefs that can get in your way. Finally, you must remain unattached to how your desire unfolds or manifests. You need to be open to all possibilities.
Hope you're inspired to try these steps and realize your deepest desires!
If you know anyone who has hearing loss and has been hesitant to get the help they need, check out this video and share it with them.
What can we learn from our relationships?
You might have heard the saying "what goes around, comes around." Or, in coaching circles, people say "You get (back) what you put out in to the world." Given that I received so much love and support after my father passing away, I realized I must have been exuding a lot of love and hope.
I know you might be thinking I'm giving myself too much credit. And, if you have nice friends and a solid family, anyone would receive positive sentiments during a difficult time in life. BUT, it wasn't all hearts and roses. In fact, the priest who was supposed to reside over my dad's funeral gave me the most unexpected blow just hours after my Dad left us.
What if we're in the middle of a difficult time in our lives?
I was at one of the lowest points in my life and trying to be there for my mom when my family and I were talking to the priest about what prayers and songs we wanted for my Dad's funeral. I have a hearing problem so I didn't catch all of the priest's suggestions.
When I asked him to speak up, he began to tease me about my hearing. At first, I didn't think he was teasing because I thought who would tease someone about hearing loss (or blindness, or any disability)? And, after I realized what he was doing, I was in disbelief and then shock. Sure, tease me any other time and I might be annoyed. But, at this moment, I was outraged! (By the way, my hearing genes are from my Dad:-)
So, as we continued the conversation, I was trying to suppress my instincts to put him in his place. The conversation went on...my brother was sharing some stories about how my dad was a fighter. At 22 years old, my Dad came from Sicily, learned English, became an entrepreneur, and created the life he desired for his family. All I kept thinking was how could that priest be so insensitive with me?!
Can we learn something even in our most challenging relationships?
Being the good coach that I am;-), I decided to focus on the present moment and to be there for my family versus taking the priest down (kidding, of course). Later, I began writing my Dad's eulogy. And, it just flowed out of me. Yet, I continued to think about the priest's behavior and how my dad would have told the priest how he felt about it. That is when it hit me. My Dad's "driven attitude" was coming through me...as it often did. I allowed myself to feel agitated and then I did a little self coaching. I know that I get back what I put out in the world. So, I asked myself "where or with whom am I being insensitive?" Hmmm...I had a few people in mind I won't share in case they're reading this now:-) But, I kept thinking.
This is what I learned about myself...
One person I could have actually been insensitive toward was ME. Had I been sensitive to my needs the last few days before my Dad passed away? Not really. So, thank you priest, for helping me realize I needed to take care of myself. And, thank you for continuing to tease me so that I could clearly receive the message I needed to hear (pun intended).
Now, I was ready to hear a deeper message.
Beyond this person being a mirror for me to learn something about myself and my situation, he helped me remember one of the most important points I needed to include in my Dad's eulogy...that he was a fighter. (Funny, how I didn't "hear" this message when my brother spoke about it.) But, my dad fought hard for his life and he fought hard at the end of it, too. This sentiment became the opening sentence of my eulogy. So, thank you priest for giving me the opportunity to remember who my dad was...he would have been disappointed if I forgot to say he was a fighter.
Finally, I received the gift of acceptance for myself and for another.
In the remainder of the eulogy, I went on to express how my Dad loved so hard, too. You can't know or have a quality without its opposing side. Obviously, I'm a sensitive person. And, I can be insensitive at times, too. All qualities within us have an existing opposing quality. We must remember this concept to be more accepting of ourselves and others.
Ultimately, this whole process softened me toward the priest and helped me express my Dad's essence which I hope to do for as long as I'm on this earth. I was so grateful to experience compassion for the priest and myself. The funeral ended up being beautiful...the priest was amazing, the songs were uplifting, and the prayers were heavenly.
What about you?
Do you often feel like you're running out of time?
Or, that you want answers to all of your life's questions now?
As a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, I understand the concept of wanting it all... right now!
Thankfully, I heard that "time" is a construct humans created to digest, process, and organize what happens in life. So, obviously "time" is meant to serve us. Then, I fell in love with this quote: "Time is a trainer." It reinforces that I don't have to rush through my life and that I don't have to have all the answers today.
What if you could change how you feel about time and actually get better results? You can! Find out how here??
If you want support in creating a new relationship with time, sign up for a consultation here.